Two's Company
by pumpkaboo
Summary: Archie and Maxie go on many dates, but for some reason Shelly is always present. Will they find a way to go out without her presence? Hardenshipping. Mentions of Alphafemaleshipping. Please be aware the 'f' bomb is dropped and some sexual references.


"Hey Maxie" Archie smiled.

Maxie looked up from his newspaper at his boyfriend. "Oh hi Archie. I didn't think you'd visit today."

Archie chuckled. "Of course I'd come visit my favourite little nerd" he hugged Maxie, kissing his cheek affectionately. "Love ya Red."

Maxie rolled his eyes, sighing loudly. "What do you want?"

"Come to lunch with me."

Maxie closed his eyes, for clarity, of course.

It wasn't that he didn't like going for lunch, or anywhere for that matter, with Archie, it was just that it was never just the two of them. (As much as Maxie would like it to be.) Shelly always seemed to accompany them.

_Always._

They went to the bar one night for drinks, Shelly just _happened_ to be there.

Then there was the time they went on that not so romantic picnic Archie had surprised him with on the cliff overlooking the sea at Lilycove City. Shelly had also been there. And of course she joined them.

_Not _romantic.

Or the numerous times they had gone to Mauville Food Court, the cinema or that Science Expo that only came around once a year. Shelly had joined them every single time.

"Sorry Archie… today I'm busy."

Archie frowned. "Oh… okay."

Maxie looked back at the newspaper, read a few headlines, then looked back at Archie who hadn't moved. "What is it?"

"Babe, what wrong?"

"Nothing."

"What's on today?"

He frowned. Archie was bothering to ask questions that he didn't have the answers for.

Fuck.

"Just… work."

"You work _way_ too hard babe. Take some time off and join me for lunch, hm?" he wiggled his eyebrows.

Maxie waved his hand. "Sorry Archie, no can do."

"Well, you aren't doing any work now, right? I mean, one meal won't change anything, right?"

Maxie sighed. Gosh Archie was getting on his nerves. He set the newspaper down, opened to the page he was at and pointed to an article. "See that? That article there? Important. Its research. Research is my job."

Archie shrugged. "Bring the newspaper. Actually, don't. I wanna talk to you and admire your beautiful-grumpy face." He kissed Maxie's forehead. "So, how do subs at the Food Court sound?"

Maxie sighed. Sure the food court was pretty much directly below his apartment… but did he really need this distraction now? Anyway, he knew Shelly would be there. He shook his head. "Sorry, just not today."

Archie frowned. He looked down at the ground. "Well… what about tomorrow?"

"I will be working tomorrow."

"How about dinner tomorrow night?"

"I'll see."

"Maxie, what's going on? Why are you rebuffing me like this? Fuck, I can't take it. What's wrong?"

Maxie caved. "Fine. I will go to lunch." It was a lot easier than answering. He didn't want the confrontation. He quickly changed out of his dressing gown and slipped his shoes on.

"You look beautiful Maxie. Gosh I love these knit jumpers on you."

Maxie shrugged. "Mauville is cold this time of year" he shrugged, crossing his arms across his body.

"You should reply with 'thank you Archie, I know I'm hot like an active volcano'."

Maxie cringed. "Yeah, no."

Archie kissed him. "Sour skitty."

Maxie rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's go." Maxie wanted to go to the food court, grab the food and get the hell out of there. If he had to listen to Shelly whining once more he was sure he would go mental.

They stepped out of the apartment into the hallway.

Archie held Maxie's hand. "You're right, it is colder."

"What? You're the one in the singlet and board shorts" Maxie frowned.

Archie chuckled. "Well, I haven't done washing for a while."

Maxie frowned. "Archie, that's disgusting."

Archie shrugged.

"I hope to hell you've been showering."

"Course I have."

"Good."

Archie chuckled and pressed the elevator button. "You're awesome Maxie, checkin' up on me. It's real cute."

Maxie rolled his eyes. "You're welcome."

Archie kissed his cheek. "You should smile more" he said, stepping into the elevator.

Maxie rubbed his temple. "Yeah, sure."

Archie leaned over and kissed him again. "I love you."

Maxie pressed the F1 button. "I love you too."

"Ever had sex in an elevator?"

"No" he frowned at Archie. "You weirdo." He stepped out of the elevator onto the first floor.

Archie shrugged. "Just makin' conversation." He linked fingers with Maxie.

Maxie couldn't help but smile.

"There it is" said Archie, pinching his cheek.

"Ah, seriously?" Maxie flinched. "Even your fingers have muscles."

Archie beamed, obviously proud of that.

They walked into the Food Court. Archie walked straight to the subs, Maxie looked around for Shelly, and sure enough he saw her sitting at a table, no food in front of her.

Maxie sighed and stepped over to Archie, not saying anything.

"Two subs thanks" Archie said, passing the money to the young clerk.

She passed him a buzzer. "There you go."

"I hope we don't have any twerps wanting to fight us today" Maxie sighed, remembering the 'massacre' last time when there were a bunch of crying kids that two of them, plus Shelly, had easily beaten.

Archie chuckled. "I brought my pokémon. Better safe than sorry."

"I didn't bring mine" Maxie realised.

"To old to battle?"

Maxie rolled his eyes. "You're next."

Archie gasped.

Maxie smirked and sat down.

Archie sat across from him. "You are so beautiful."

Maxie blushed a little. "Uh… thanks" he mumbled.

"You should say-"

"Don't wanna hear it."

"I do."

Maxie knew that voice all too well. It made him want to smack his forehead on the table.

"Oh hi Shelly" smiled Archie."

She sat next to Archie. "What are you two up to?"

"Gettin' some subs" Archie replied.

"I think I will too." She stood back up and walked over. As she ordered their buzzer went off.

"I'll get it" said Archie.

Maxie nodded.

Finish the food and get out. That was how it was gonna have to be.

Archie and Shelly walked back over looking like a fucking couple. Maxie looked down at the table. He felt… oddly inferior. It was only ever around Shelly. When she had her arm draped over Archie's shoulder and would chuckle and smile at what he said, and he would do the same fucking thing.

"Maxie, sub time" Archie grinned, sliding the tray under his gaze.

"Thanks" Maxie replied, forcing a smile for Archie.

Shelly opened her bottle of soda. "So anyway, what do you think Archie?"

"Yeah, sounds great. We will have to look into it though."

Maxie listened, wondering what they were talking about.

"So, a week, was it?" Archie asked.

"Yeah. I spoke to Matt, but he isn't too keen."

Maxie picked up the sub. What in Hoenn where they talking about?

"Well, if you get it all organized, I will be happy to put the money towards it."

Maxie took a bite from his sub. Not particularly enjoying it. What could they be doing that was for a week? Why did they have to talk about it now? He wanted to ask Archie, but Shelly would just interrupt, possibly something along the line of 'it doesn't concern you' and Archie would sheepishly nod in agreement. He took another bite of the sub. Why had he ever bothered coming to lunch? He knew he would be the third wheel. It was like he didn't exist. He set the sub down. When he forced himself to listen to Shelly's incessant babbling.

"So I went for dinner at this place the other night" she was saying. "And anyway, there was this item in the kids menu-" Her buzzer went off. "I'll be back." She got up and walked over to the counter.

Archie looked at Maxie like he expected him to say something. Maxie chose not to indulge him.

Shelly walked back over. "Anyway, on the menu they had all these kids' meals with pokémon names. I just think calling the kids pasta skitty sketty is just weird, like, does it have skitty in it? No? Then why have it in the name?"

Maxie sighed and leaned back.

"That's a great point. What do you think Maxie?" Archie asked.

"Yep. So great. Perhaps you should write about it in a thesis, Shelly."

"Don't be such a nerd" she rolled her eyes.

He scoffed. He looked around and saw May, one of the kids who had been there at the Cave. It had been a few years, and she was now an older teen. She looked over at him and smiled.

Maxie then realised this could be the best way to get out of this awful 'date' with Archie. He carefully beckoned her over.

She walked over. "Hi Maxie. How are you?"

"Good thanks May. What have you been up to?"

"I've been helping my dad with the Pokédex and other research" she smiled. She looked at Archie. "Oh, it's you. Hi Archie."

Obviously she wasn't going to forgive him too easily for wanting to flood Hoenn.

"So, you two hang out now?" she asked curiously.

"We go out, don't we?" Archie smiled, looking at Maxie.

"Yeah…"

"Oh… okay" May smiled. "Sure you guys are perfect for each other." She looked at Shelly, seemingly confused as to why she was there, but smiled. "Hi."

"Hi there May" Shelly replied before taking another sip of her drink.

"Well, I'm heading off. See you guys" May smiled politely, waved, and took her leave.

"I think I will head off too" Maxie said, leaving the uneaten half of his sub on the tray. "See you both later." He was sure he would.

"Maxie-"

He quickly kissed Archie. "I will see you later Archie."

"Okay babe. Love you."

Maxie smiled. "Love you too." He walked out of the Food Court back to the elevator. He stood in there for what felt like ages before bothering to press F2. He just wanted to go home. He made his way down the hallway, hearing some slight commotion before a man in a black suit and glasses walked out of one of the apartments.

Maxie just nodded politely and walked around to his room. He unlocked the door and stepped in. His room was cold. Gosh he was sick of the cold weather. He turned up the heater and sat down.

The cold weather wasn't all he was sick of.

He leaned back into the lounge. Why did he even bother?

He had had enough of Shelly 'happening' to be around during his and Archie's 'dates'. He was one hundred percent over it.

* * *

Maxie had spent much of the next day working. He had so much paperwork to have done. He filed important documents and emailed off ones that needed to be. He finally finished around five. He had been working since the early hours of the morning. At least he had done everything he needed for the day.

He sipped his coffee and leaned back, feeling accomplished.

Within seconds of him feeling so great, he received a call from Archie.

Maxie sighed. "Hello Archie."

"Hey Maxie. So, you wanna go for dinner?"

"I'm sorry, but I have _heaps_ to do for work." This wasn't entirely a lie. He always had work to do.

"Aww Maxie, babe, please?" Archie pressured.

"Archie, no. Just…" he sighed. "Ask Shelly to go with you."

"Babe, is that what this is about?"

"Archie, I don't want to talk about it."

"You don't, but I do. Is this why you don't want to join me?"

Maxie sighed.

That seemed to be all the confirmation Archie needed. "Maxie… I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's probably more fun to hang out with your roommate than your boyfriend" he rubbed his temples. This was just irritating.

"Maxie, how about I come 'round to see you tonight. I'll get take away and bring it with me-"

"You bring Shelly and I will kill you. She is-"

"She isn't coming."

"Promise."

"I promise. I'll come by at six."

"Yeah… that's fine."

"Okay, see you then babe."

Maxie hung up. All he could think about was Shelly being in his apartment. Her talking to Archie the whole time and being utterly irritating. He groaned. Well, if she turned up he would just kick them both out.

Six came and went.

Maxie got up and sat on the balcony. Archie probably ended up staying home. Hanging out with Shelly. Watching movies. Eating takeaway.

He sighed. Well, he couldn't exactly blame Archie. He had been a jerk about this whole situation. But Archie deserved it.

Archie shouldn't call it a date if Shelly was going to be there. That _wasn't _a date_._

At six thirty the intercom buzzed. "Hey babe, you there? Don't tell me you're out."

Maxie, confused on how he could even answer Archie if he was out, made his way to the door and opened it.

"I brought Chinese. Hope you're hungry."

Maxie looked past Archie, and seeing no Shelly, nodded. "Come in."

Archie kissed him and walked in. "Sorry I'm late. They gave me the wrong order. Can you believe it? At least I got extra free food out of it."

Maxie, already feeling exhaustion hit him, nodded. "Listen, I'm tired-"

"I'm sorry about Shelly, okay? She just…" he shrugged. "Now that we are together she thinks I don't want to spend time with her."

"Archie, you two share the same house."

He shrugged. "That's just what she told me."

"Maybe she is just jealous that you want to spend time with someone else."

"Nah… maybe?" he seemed to ponder it. "We have been together for like, over a year, so I don't know…"

Maxie sat down on the lounge, Archie sitting down next to him.

"I'm sorry Maxie. I know that we have been together for ages, but… I guess I am just so used to spending time with my friends… that it's gettin' in the way. But I think I have a plan to change it."

Maxie grabbed the box of noodles. "What is it?"

Archie passed him chopsticks. "We need to find a date for Shelly."

"That is so obvious!" Maxie exclaimed. "Archie, that is brilliant. Who are we going to ask to date her? I mean, they would have to be as crazy as her."

"She is not crazy."

"Who does she like Archie? Tell me!"

"I think I know."

"Tell me."

"I think it's that Admin of yours."

"Tabitha?"

"Nah, the short one."

"You mean Courtney? Excellent. We shall set them up!" he grinned. He pulled Archie into a kiss. "You are amazing." He paused. "I take that back. I can't admit something like that."

Archie chuckled. "Well, how are we going to set them up?"

"Easy. I will just get Courtney to ask her out."

"How do you know that will work?"

"Trust me, I've seen enough candid pictures to know these things."

"Wait? What? Candid pictures of who?"

"Well, pictures of Shelly of course" he said as though it was the most obvious thing ever.

"Shelly does the same with Courtney" Archie murmured.

"No way…" he stood up, feeling a burst of energy. "I, the Great Maxie, shall be a matchmaker. Excuse me while I make a phone call."

Archie chuckled. "Okay, good luck babe!"

* * *

Less than a week after Maxie's super successful matchmaking, Archie turned up at Maxie's door, suitcase in hand.

"Are you going on holidays?" Maxie asked curiously.

"Maxie… I don't know if I love you or hate you."

Maxie frowned, confused. "Hasn't that always been the case?"

Archie chuckled. "Is that how you feel?"

"Uh, no, of course not. So, what brings you here?"

"Shelly kicked me out and moved Courtney in."

"Good. That means the plan has worked, but it has also strangely backfired…"

"What do you mean?" Archie asked.

"You are moving in" he sighed. "No matter. I think… it will be nice to live with you."

"Same. How about we go out for dinner to celebrate?"

"Sounds good" Maxie agreed.

Maxie may have spoken too soon. When they arrived at the restaurant he came face to face with Shelly _and_ Courtney. He looked at Archie.

"I promise this wasn't planned" Archie said, looking just as surprised.


End file.
